when things changed

ever thought of life will be good after got married
but it ain't goes like how i used to plan
things just changed like it should be
while it shouldn't be at all

life
what is life
what is life should be

from stranger to someone important
from single to attached
from lady to women
from miss to mrs
from one to two (pregnant)

i left home for a guy
i left parents 
i left everything for a marriage

i always thought life is easy, smooth
but
now i am down at the hill

i am hurt 
i am all alone
i am not me 
who am i?

pregnancy comes after registered of married
out of sudden
i have to face tons of changes
i need to quit my job
i need to stay healthy
i need to start worrying as baby not stable in my womb
i need to be extra careful as always have bleeding
i cant take heavy thing
i got no appetite to eat
i cant sleep well
i cant go wherever i want to
i cant take cold drinks or foods even the weather hot like hell
i cant diet
i cant do a lot of things
i need to take medicine

i am sick of all the argument
i am sick of all the shouting
i am sick of all the fighting
i am sick of u
i am sick of your family
stop protecting you while you did something wrong
stop deny that you are right with all the shit you did to me
stop hurting me stop cheating on me stop lying at me

you're not supportive
you're not true
you're such a son of a bitch

Ain't The Same

Am i still living in my own fairy tales?

Why would the story not the same as i've expected?

Am i expecting too much?

Life is just so hard to live.

Why are we, as human need to face tons of shit?

Where is the good life as promised?

Human tend to trust all the shit promises instead of accepting the cruel truth. 

Tears again and again.

jealousy. freedom. paranoid

Been a while since the day ended the sucks relationship

Now new one started 

Yet it doesn't seems good as in expectation

Faith bringing us together

Behind of it, demon living alive 

How could I over come the downtime and to defeat all the demons

I hate over thinking

I hate guessing around

I hate to sense something weird from your side

I always thought that I grew stronger after the past 

Why am I still being the same

I am such a moron

Move forward please

Let go of the past (people, mind, feeling) 

last 25-9-2012

今天25-9-2012，将会是最后一天想你
我得把一切放下
浪费太多太多的时间
认识我的人，都看不过眼

从今天起，你死了
不会再找一个死掉的人
永别了

答应自己
不再找你！忍着！
一切都会过去！
放下，然后向前走！
把你忘掉。。。
我会努力
加油！！

忘掉你的样子
忘掉你的味道
忘掉忘掉
一切都忘掉

*对不起，我爱你*

untitled

Sleepless night
Lots in mind
All I need is fall into sleep
Why is it so hard?!
Radio on 
Earphone on
It's one am and I'm still awake
Wtf
Sleepy worm, please come to me

I missed you
Do you miss me too?
I wish you did
:)
Will you text me still while I didn't reply you?
I tried not to think of you
I tried not to miss you
I tried not to recall the memories
I tried hardly
I do
Yet, I failed
It's not under control by me

love

Always heard from people, radio, TV said that first love can hardly being forgotten
What is your definition for first love?
The very first time you fall for someone? 
Or the first time you serious dated with?
For me, first love is the first date when you're serious in love. 
Love. 
Is complicated
Is very subjective
Is fragile

Once you hold it tight, you'll lose it
Why?
The person who will badly get hurt is the one who took it serious
Why?!

In a relationship
We need love, faith, loyalty
But, people nowadays took it as a game
Flirt around even owned a partner
Cheating, playing, betraying
Why the hell people just can't take it serious?!
They never realized that will hurt their partner so damn badly

煎熬

夜里她听着李佳微<煎熬>
Memories flashed back to previous times
还记那时半年了
有介绍他去听
他听了，他告诉她说他哭了
他问她
是快要把他忘了吗？
她没回答

他还说
他记得之前一起时，她就在听着
他记得她喜欢的歌
她很感谢他还记得
她
又哭了

歌词-
心一跳，爱就开始煎熬，每一分每一秒
火在烧，烧成灰有多好，叫思念不要吵

其实
这歌是要转告他说她是多么的痛苦，难熬